Finally got my hands on a copy of Ninth House which is especially exciting because Daphne Dietzen is one of my favorite authors EVER and the fact that she is SO GOOD that she can come up with a whole wonderfully immersive YA fantasy world and NOW is coming up with a whole equally wonderfully immersive adult Yale world makes me wanna pull my hair out. Like!! Who let her have all this talent!! Unfair!! I'm only fifteen pages in so far and I already love it which I know I am no critic and my opinion holds little to no value but DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO PICK UP A COPY AT YOUR NEAREST BOOKSTORE, LIBRARY, ETC.

You guys!! Robert Eggers called me and told me he wanted me in his next movie and I cried and he was very kind and now I get to be in a movie with Gillian Owens!!!!! SOON I AM GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH MY FAVORITE WITCH. (Guys she doesn't follow me and I didn't tag her for a reason so please don't show this to her, I don't want to scare her before I even meet her!!!)

So I bought a bunch of doggie Halloween costumes for RJ and Little Bear (but no cat Halloween costumes for Rosie because while I do think she would make an absolutely darling Jessica Fletcher I value my life and know that she would inevitably claw me to death if I tried to put any sort of outfit on her) and I just need everyone to know that even though @aloysius jokes that RJ hates the sweaters I put him in, this is your proof he doesn't mind it at all!! Look how cute this little bumblebee is!! Look how chill he is!!! I don't think this is actually the final Halloween costume decision but I don't want to SPOIL IT, YOU KNOW?

This is Flopsy. Flopsy is the fur kid of a very sweet makeup artist on our set named Hayley who lets me play with Flopsy in my trailer between takes and I think it's very nice of her to trust that I won't put Flopsy into a dog carrier and take her home with me even though I really, REALLY want to. Just kidding Hayley!! Your baby is always safe with me please don't take my emotional support rabbit away from me!! (Please stop telling me emotional support animals aren't a joke I know they aren't a joke but I also know there are documented cases of peacocks and ferrets being registered as emotional support animals so I think maybe me teasing that this absolutely adorable bunny is MY emotional support animal won't actually hurt anything ok bye love you guys!!!)

Cami's never liked statistics. She's never liked math in general, to be completely clear (there's a reason her studies were always focused on languages, on art), but she especially doesn't like statistics today, when Dr. Barnik is sitting next to her telling her very gently that, unfortunately, these things happen. "Statistically speaking, about fifteen to twenty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage." If it's meant to help, it doesn't. Cami frowns. "No one really knows why they happen," Dr. Barnik continues, as if she's trying to cut off intrusive thoughts at the pass. She's so very kind. "They just happen. There's nothing either of you could have done." But this, too, doesn't help.

Dr. Barnik makes the comment later, after the medications have served their purpose and a quick exam follow-up has been done before they allow her to leave that they can keep trying. (Cami doesn't really have the heart to tell her they weren't trying in the first place. Maybe that was the problem; maybe the little thing growing in her knew it was, technically, a mistake, even though Cami had never, ever thought of it like that.) "When it's meant to happen, it will," Dr. Barnik says as she squeezes Cami's hand. This is the sort of talk Cami would normally eat up - it's the way she talks, the way she thinks, and yet now, looking down at her feet, she feels nothing.

For once, Cami thinks maybe the universe might actually be an asshole after all.

Meredith